The abilities of SUPER DAD!
Hi All.
We’re still waiting.
Gem claims that I’ve gone a bit mental which probably explains why I’m writing this post.
In my experience there seems to be some abilities that all Dads seem to have nearly with out fail. Things like knowing about cars, how to read a map, put up shelves, know the ins and outs of money and so on.
I’ve come up with this theory.
Every night in every hospital where a new baby has just come along. While mum and baby sleep there’s like an antenatal class but only for Dads which teach the “Wisdom Of The Ancients”.
I Figure the lesson plan goes:
1. How to do basic car maintenance, including how to charge the battery, how to pump up and change a tyre and how to spot if a mechanic is about to rip you off.
2. How to put up shelves and do other jobs around the house.
3. How to not look lost when you’ve not got a clue where you are.
4. how to get from downstairs to upstairs with out making a sound to check on children in bed.
5. The ability to enjoy watching golf, (that has to be a super power because nothing on this earth could ever get me to do it unforced.).
6. How to do that special Dads dance.
7. To be able to embarrass offspring with out even trying.
I think that’s as far as Super Dad would get as at that point his I-Phone would ring with the Super Dad ring tone calling him to another hospital.
I can’t wait to meet Super Dad, I reckon he’d not fly but would turn up in a suped up people carrier and rather than where a costume like Superman he’d have a bright shirt, faded genes with huge turn ups and socks and sandals. In a really bad turn of events he should also be wearing grey y-fronts over his genes.
Do you think I missed anything from the lesson plan or my description of what I think Super Dad would look like? Any ideas in the comments.
Time for Bed.
Take care all,
And Up, Up, Up, Back (we forgot the dummies,) up and away,
Nick.
12 comments:
You are so funny, I am chuckling out loud in the office and The boss is looking at me funny. Now you do realise that this will all change after the baby is born. Once Superdad has visited you will only be capable of Dad Jokes! These will include but not restricted to:
Standing sideways on to a mirror and waving the visible arm and leg in the air to give the hilarious impression through your reflection that you are floating in the air.
Say often - I used to be a werewolf but I am alright nooooooouuuuuw (the last bit being made to sound like a werewolf howl)
At every available opportunity say: "Just like that" in your smashing impression of Tommy Cooper. Likewise for variety you can also do: Scottish "See you Jimmy" Russ Abbott or even "Rock on Tommy" in the style of Canon and Ball don't forget twanging imaginary bracesas you go.
And of course the all time Dad classic.
When your poor child in exasperation of whatever heinous Dad crime you have recently committed exclaims "Oh God!" you must always reply "Just call me Dad"
I am sure Super Dad will fill you in on the rest x Good Luck with a speedy arrival of the little one
Anna x
You made me laugh a lot with this post, it was great!:) If only there were more super dads..:)
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